Apr 28, 2007

About this blog

Well...In the last post I mentioned about the blog going nowhere. Since then have been thinking of making it more meaningful. This blog has grown like a personal diary, which now I somewhat feel should not be the case. Thus yours truly is now working on some idea, which, if implemented, will make this page more interesting to read. I will try my best to make it see the light of 'publishing'.

There has been only one person who has given some comments and that too is anonymous. I would very much like to know this person and share the thoughts. So if you're reading, dear reader, don't blur the image under 'Anonymous'.


Prepare yourself for truth: Deja Vu (2006) - Denzel Washington, Paula Patton

Apr 26, 2007

At the heels of Life

Calvin is right. Life’s weird. And I’m a weirdo!

Well this hour is not passing so quickly but the last hour slipped out of my hand like sand. More I tighten the grip, the more I loose. So, again on philosophical note, simply trying to play; trying to not to waste too much thought on life and outcomes.

I’m still thinking of how to shape up this blog. It ain’t going anywhere. Any ideas? This week has seen a lot of things – meeting dealers, registering domain, attending cousin’s marriage and reading. Talking of marriage – no one answered to my questions from previous post. If there are some hits, then there should be some comments as well.

Well I don’t want to play a spoilsport over here, but a question keeps coming – How can one define happiness? What if a person is happy and if I tell him that the other person has got more than him, will her/his state of happiness continue? Why do we keep on worrying for inconsequential things?
The essence is why I can’t compartmentalize the life - Maybe because compartmentalization is hard to achieve and is a sign of maturity. How can I prevent happenings in my life to follow sine curve? It’s hard to detach oneself from the dreams, his/her work, and his /her love. The problem is when he/she can’t achieve as per his thoughts; when he/she can’t detach from the life.

Everyone longs for love – Artificial Intelligence (2001), Haley Joel, Frances O’Connor

Q: [A]. Is ‘Caring and Sharing’ same as that of loving someone?
[B]. Can one be satisfied with the unconditional love?

Can't help writing the lyrics of this beautiful song:
When you love someone - you do anything,
You do all the crazy things that you cant explain,
You shoot the moon - put out the sun, when you love someone...

You deny the truth - believe a lie,
There'll be times that you'll believe you can really fly,
But your lonely nights - have just begun, when you love someone...

When you love someone - you feel it deep inside,
And nothin else can ever change your mind
When you want someone - when you need someone, when you love someone...

When you love someone - you sacrifice,
You'd give it everything you got and you wont think twice
You'd risk it all - no matter what may come, when you love someone...

You shoot the moon - put out the sun, when you love someone...

Bryan Adam's voice does wonders to it!

Apr 19, 2007

Thoughts in a traffic jam

Was stuck in traffic for 2 hours today. It's a pity that to cover a tad 30 km stretch, my Flora (Hyundai Santro) takes 2 hours on Delhi roads. Had it been some freeway, it would have been a such a pleasant (makhan) ride. Though I love to drive, I love to be at helm of affairs, but these days I loathe being on driver's seat.

Anyways, when you're alone and stuck in traffic, your thoughts wander. They move through the happenings of the day, what you could have done better, how you'll respond to the questions thrown by Today and how it would have been great if there was some cola and chips in the car (and a nice chick to talk to) :-).
But then I realized that God parceled all the beauty to Belgium, things have improved over the week and secrets were shared with the Known-One. Apart from these I also realized that:

- Expectations hurt; Only if they're out of your sphere of influence.

- Life is a puzzle; In retrospect, each piece falls into it's place.

- Dreams do come true; Only that one has to work towards them without much expectations of the result.

- Know how to react; It's the reactions that shape up the life.

- Life meets at corners; But working hard is what prepares and pays.

- Fight; Quitting is not an option.

- Sorting out wrinkles is tough; But then smiling gives power.

One dream is enough to light up the whole sky - October Sky (1999), Jake Gyllenhaal, Chris Cooper

Q: Why do we marry? [1.] Just that age is catching up with me, Or [2.] I want some company, Or [3.] My parents forced me, Or [4.] I want to have a legal physical relationship and raise kids..., Or [5.] That I found someone for whom I can do anything and want to see her/him smiling at any cost?

I vouch for an unconditional love! What about you?

Apr 18, 2007

Don't get mad, Get even

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

We all love heroes - irrespective of culture, caste, nationality. Am not different from others and I too am touched by the heroic deeds of the others. For me, KNOWN-ONE is the source of booster doses. I got one more - "Don't get mad, get even". This made me think -
  • At least God gives you something (though I now do accept that His ways are different), and
  • How to develop the 'Never say die' and 'fighting' attitude?

I'm not worried about the hard work I've to put to achieve the targets. The problem with me is that I let go off the things so easily that I sometimes feel helpless. And as put by Russell Crowe, I feel terrified, petrified, mortified, stupified by life. But now I want to change this. I want to getup and start all over again if I hit the bottom.

To begin with, for every problem, solutions will be figured out; decisions will be taken INTIME; and no repenting upon them. And then fight will be given in all the things - from Table Tennis matches to the discussions in the boardroom; from Kabaddi to wooing a girl.

Hence onwards, a transformation will be brought about. Life is the function of you and your actions. I'll give fight, no matter what. Who knows, someone might be watching me!

PS: Remmber the Titans (2000) - Denzel Washington, Will Patton
I can watch this movie any number of times.

Q: What is the goal in life? Does planning for the goals help? (I'm only talking about long term ones).

Apr 15, 2007

Of the games and stories

Inner voices voted out the dragging of life in this state. Everyone has the option to select and the paths to choose. Trying to identify my sphere of influence and trying NOT to bother about the circle I can't control. Though the second option seems bit difficult at this hour. No wonder these thoughts take over you. Only if I can start this game all over, I wonder if I would have played any differently. I also wonder how someone else would have faired. But then am not a renegade one.

Just to distract the thoughts, thinking to cultivate the skill of story telling. Somehow there are not many links in my grey cells, and I only end up with facts instead of links and fiction. But then one must admit that story telling is an art and I wonder if this can be cultivated anyway or only the ones having quotas get them.

We all do stories - to children, to friends, to colleagues, in a sales pitch, to ourselves! There should be something while telling the tales - the roles should come to life; they should talk and sing and move. The rules are simple - one starts with an introduction, moves to tell the tale and then adds the punch line which makes it one of the best things listeners ever heard. Doing the research lead to the following points to make the difference (src http://www.storytell.com.au):

  • Adjust the delivery by selecting tone, loudness, rhythm, expression, movement. Voice should shape the words to figures of fancy.

  • Choose your words and style

  • Check what audience wants

  • As with other skills, Practice

  • Carefully select the stories to tell i.e. choose your content

  • Try and refine

So just try and mesmerize all those who come in the vicinity of your words.

PS: A Beautiful Mind (2001) - He Saw The World In A Way No One Could Have Imagined; Russell Crowe, Ed Harris

Listening to 'lamha lamha doori kyon pighalti hai, jaane kis aag mein yeh shabnam jalti hai...' from gangster.

PPS: I dream of being with the KNOWN-ONE !

Apr 12, 2007

Love me the most when I deserve it least

Someone was so true in saying:

"Love me the most when I deserve it least"

Love here is a feeling, a belief, a reassurance; son asking mother, follower asking God, he asking her, a friend asking the other! I look around and far, only to find crowd. I think and dream.

Love me the most, when I deserve the least,
Hold my stern, if I wad away...
Show me to rise, when I'd a fall...
Be there to light my world, when they're leaving all,
when time comes to halt and life cease to exist,
Love me the most, when I deserve the least !!

There are people who deserve life; there are others who've in abundance. Chris at least had a goal in 'The Pursuit of Happiness', I don't have any in sight.

The Pursuit Of Happiness(2007) - Will Smith, Jaden Smith

Apr 11, 2007

Please pray for me

Committed one of the biggest mistakes of my life on 10th Apr! The tensions and strains of one part of my life erupted at someplace else. I wish I could have more control over outburst of emotions and have more luck at my side (maybe everyone thinks that way). I wish I could think before any action I take. I would go to any length to sort it out but then every one has a truck loads of wishes. Whose will come true?

This is not a stressed out soul talking. It's the life missing something which others won't even notice. And then I question myself "am I among the few who crib for it or is there anyway to make life better without having it?".

But some times life hurts; and it hurts badly. This one touched my life as well; I've done some irrepairable damage. I wouldn't have done that in my dreams. I don't want to loose those goneby moments; they are so few in my life; only during breaks or sometime during chat sessions.
Such is the immaturity level that I still dream of a fairy coming and taking me into the woods.

Things have gone from bad to worse since the last post. They say prayers have great power. Please pray for me that everything goes back to what I left as on first week of April.

Apr 2, 2007

tere naina talash karein jise

Listening to beautiful number sung by Manna Dey. It goes "tere naina talash karein jise woh to hai tere paas diwaane... tere naina..."

More than 95% of people would be ready to trade places with me in life, but still something is missing. What is that I'm looking for? Why at the end I've only this LCD screen to talk with? Ain't these are the days about which we dreamt of in our enigineering hostels? Why am I hollow? Are the smiles around me fake? Or is it that I'm the only one discontent? Is it same way with everyone?

Why is it so that life doesn't tread the path I want? Why is it so that I'm always being reminded that it's not your game? And from where I get the energy to push and jostle, to fight for the things I want, but the very next moment I feel helpless? Is it same way with everyone?

I know the hard work is the mantra... or some will say smart work is the punch. But why i get the positive outcomes in only quarter of cases? Why I want to have something which can't be mine? Why I long for the lost moments? And for the moments which can't be there? Are these too much of expectations and dreams? Is it same way with everyone?

The Step

Afraid of taking first step. It's always a big one and one fears of falling down into the depths. But chasms can't be crossed with two small steps; it has to be A big one! Let's story.

Anant was sincere and a hardworking fellow working for an advertising agency. Neha was dynamic and giggling, always donning that 'she's an angel' smile. Both were working on same assigment for nearly 3 months for now. The results were good, they were meeting milestones as planned. It was a warm evening, both walking past the high rise official complex:

(A): we seem to be on target. This project is going as scheduled. I don;t want any hiccups at this stage. We've working like hell.
(N): Yes. you've put a lot of effort. Wanna coffee?
(A): Sure. How about the demo to the Mr. V (Boss) some time tomorrow?
(N): Suits me!
(A): How is mom doing back at home?

They njoyed sharing the words, thoughts, joys and sorrows; this has been the 10th evening they're coffeeing together in past fortnight. It was (N) who asked (A) out at first; and the only answer she got from (A) was "at 7 PM".

Somehow in good times everyone wants to hold on to time. It always seems in hurry. Even I wish I could cling on to it! They wished the same as street lamps passed over their heads.

Six months passed by and the ad was a roaring success. Everyone in the office talked about their hardwork. Time came for the official word. To A's surprise, N was given credit of the success of the ad. The last 10 months A has worked like hell and all he got was "continue with the same spirit", while N was showered with praise and hike.

There are times when a moment seems to take years, as if afraid of moving forward. The cold jittery winds were blowing, both walking by as street lamps watched the shadows drooping by.
Should these things matter in life?